New York City. A population of 8. Countless bars, coffee shops and ideal date scenarios. A city where you, while constantly surrounded by the masses, can easily feel alone. However, despite the surplus of people living in the city, this thought proved more difficult to realize than orginally imagined.
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However, my most frequented interactions in coffee shops are to the person next to me asking them to watch my belongings while I go to the bathroom.
After almost a year in New York, I can safely say the only instance in which a guy has run after me on the sidewalk has been a promoter wanting me to come to their club that night and yes, I know how sad that sounds. And despite coming to terms with the fact that life is never going to be as exciting as it is in the movies, this unrealistic expectation of the New York dating scene has proved to be disheartening.
In high school, I thought I would have to be living single until the age of 42 to encounter the desperation needed to download a dating app.
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Now I find my phone cluttered with them. Dating apps have traditionally gotten a bad rep, much of which I had previously agreed with. They were presumably for those who lacked the social skills necessary to meet someone in person and those who were deemed unattractive or awkward and were only able to present themselves in a different fashion online.
In an article on the Times, Aziz Ansari explains how love is adapting to the digital age. Within a generation of individuals frequenting to devices rather than adapting to uncomfortable social situations, dating apps provide a window to the countless others looking for a specific type.
Through your devices you are granted access to the single population of your area who are also looking for the same thing as you.
NYC Dating: How to find love without using an app
However, dating apps have since been on the rise, especially for college students who lack the typical community that accompanies their school. Dating apps, to put it simply, are more efficient. One can be carrying on multiple conversations with various individuals, all during a morning walk to class. Instead of going on a nerve-wracking first date or being set up with someone they do not know nor feel comfortable sharing a table with for an hour or two, digital environments provide a space to get to know individuals before pursuing relations with them.
For time constrained students or the working population, it proves easier to scroll through an app than to encounter individuals with the same goals as you. The digital age has offered a repurposed outlet to both promote ourselves and connect with others. Skip to content Toggle navigation.
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